i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
