from now on my penis is your penis
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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