You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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