i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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