I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
