have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
