so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
