so that wasnt chicken after all
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
this boner is exhausting
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
