I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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