fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
