i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
