everyone is single if you try hard enough
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
