That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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