So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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