ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I have already put on my inside pants.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
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