so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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