Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
