i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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