Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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