Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
He shit in the fireplace
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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