glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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