If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
