The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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