I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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