so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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