Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Actions speak louder than pants.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
