Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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