i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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