We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I came so hard my ears popped.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
