I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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