My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
