Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
