Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
