I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
