im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Randomize
