Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
