...so i touched it.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
