He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
