It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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