yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
