Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
