I'm so fucking centered right now
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
