do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
