strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
