guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
