Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
