I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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