My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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