when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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