dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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