if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
