Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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